It’s confusing and painful when someone acts like they want a relationship — only to pull away once things start to get real.
You might find yourself replaying conversations, wondering what went wrong or why he acted so interested in the first place.
The truth is, not every guy who says he wants something serious actually means it. Sometimes their actions reveal more than their words ever could.
Here are 7 eye-opening reasons why guys pretend to want a relationship, but really don’t — and what it might mean for you.
Why Do Guys Pretend to Want a Relationship
1. They Enjoy the Attention
Some guys love the feeling of being wanted. They crave attention, compliments, and emotional connection, but not the commitment that comes with it.
They might text you constantly, flirt, and act caring — but when it’s time to define the relationship, they pull away. For them, it’s about how your attention makes them feel, not about truly wanting to build something lasting.
It’s painful, but once you see this clearly, you can stop giving your heart to someone who only wants an ego boost.
2. They Like the Idea of Love, Not the Work
Some men love the idea of being in love. They enjoy the early excitement — the texts, the dates, the chase. But when real effort is required, they lose interest.
They don’t want to deal with communication, compromise, or emotional responsibility. They want romance without reality.
If his actions fade as soon as things get deeper, he may have been in love with the feeling, not with you.
3. They’re Not Over Someone Else
A guy who’s still healing from a past relationship might think he’s ready for something new. But deep down, he’s still attached to someone else.
He may use a new relationship as a distraction from old pain. That’s why he seems present one moment and distant the next.
This isn’t your fault — he’s fighting his own emotions. But it’s unfair for you to carry the weight of someone else’s unfinished story.
4. They Don’t Want to Be Alone
Some guys pretend to want a relationship simply because they fear being lonely. They enjoy having someone to talk to, text, or spend time with — but they’re not emotionally ready to commit.
You might notice they avoid deeper conversations about the future. That’s because they don’t want to lose the comfort of your presence but also don’t want the responsibility of a real relationship.
You deserve someone who chooses you out of love, not convenience.
5. They Want Physical Connection Without Emotional Depth
This one hurts the most. Some men act romantic or committed just to get close to you physically.
They might say all the right things, make future promises, and act devoted — but once they get what they want, they pull away.
It’s not about you lacking anything. It’s about them using emotional closeness as a tool instead of a bond. The right person won’t confuse your heart for temporary pleasure.
6. They Like Control
Pretending to want a relationship gives some men a sense of control. They know what to say to keep you around without giving full commitment.
They enjoy knowing you’re emotionally invested — it feeds their ego. But the moment you ask for clarity, they get defensive or distant.
A man who truly cares won’t play with your emotions. He’ll communicate openly and consistently because he values your heart, not your attention.
7. They Don’t Know What They Want
Sometimes, it’s not manipulation — it’s confusion. Some guys genuinely don’t know what they want in life or love.
They might think they want a relationship until it feels too real, too fast, or too vulnerable. Then they pull away because they’re scared or unsure.
You can’t fix or convince them. The best thing you can do is protect your peace and make space for someone who knows they want you — and isn’t afraid to prove it.
It’s painful when someone pretends to care but never truly intends to stay.
But remember — his confusion, fear, or selfishness doesn’t define your worth. You are not too much for the wrong person; you’re just enough for the right one.
Don’t chase clarity from someone who thrives on keeping you uncertain. Instead, protect your heart, learn from the experience, and keep space open for someone who means what he says and values your love the way it deserves.
